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Friday, April 30, 2010

the extraordinary slacker

what's after 29?

Can't believe I haven't posted since Sunday. I'm becoming an extraordinarily talented slacker. In my own defense, I've been working my tushy off! My brain, instead of having typical conversations with itself, is in overdrive thinking thoughts such as SEO, sales, work, promotion, work, promotion, blah blah blah. I really miss that inner voice - you know, or don't you? - the one that answers back? No? You don't hear that voice? Okay. Well. Um, neither do I.

Great news!

Hubs and I are EMPTY NESTERS this weekend! Break out the margaritas and quesadillas! We're getting a little jump on cinco de mayo. So, if, on the local or national news, you hear about this middle-aged couple who broke wild, well...

It wasn't us.

So, what are your plans for the weekend?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

What Not to Do

What not to do when posing for prom pictures.

Don't do the vogue pose if you're double jointed.
You tend to get carried away and freak out your date.


Again, no model poses or facial expressions.
You'll just come out looking mentally challenged.


Don't pout.
It causes premature frown lines and doesn't do anything for your date's attitude.


Don't fight your date.
Heaven forbid you let him know that you're actually stronger than he is
- another quick way to end the date early.


Much better.
Just remember...


His hand is only allowed in that area. No higher, no lower.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Happy Happy Saturday!

I hope your Saturday has been splendid so far. I have a little announcement for you, my What's After 29? buds. On my other blog, having to do with my actual occupation, (what? you think I'm just a fabulous writer 24/7?) I am hosting a giveaway for the sweetest, most eco-friendly, and totally rad (yes, I can use that word because I'm over 29) reclaimed leather wristlet. For the men out there, a wristlet is like a small purse and your wife/girlfriend would be most impressed if you won it and said, "here honey, I got this just for you". So, what do we do? We march ourselves over to my other place pronto to enter.

waterstone lori plyler reclaimed leather wristlet giveaway

Isn't it cute?

waterstone lori plyler reclaimed leather wristlet giveaway

I like to call it my...
Reclaimed Leather Soft as a Baby's Butt Wristlet.
Okay, so I need to work on my titles. Sue me.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tip of the Day:

Tip of the Day:

Before you completely take apart a little purse to repurpose into a fabulous new purse or wristlet...

waterstone by lori plyler sure to google the mysterious italian designer to make sure it doesn't sell at Neiman Marcus for $2,000.00 - $3,000.00.
Just for future reference.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

it was the cats fault

what's after 29?

I'm sure you've heard, maybe even used the excuse, "The dog ate my homework". Well, I'm using that excuse this morning except this time, it was the cats fault. So, I was on schedule and set to write my Tuesday post last night when all of a sudden I realized that the cat was NOT sitting next to me on the sofa. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her. I proceed to look and search and walk outside, calling her name (she's old and declawed and couldn't defend herself against wild animals such as coyotes or hawks who swoop down and, what the what??? How the heck did she get out anyway?). I looked in the pantry, in the basement. Suffice it to say I look everywhere.

Crying, I gave up and went to bed. Woke up at 2:00 a.m. to walk around again to search. No Oreo. Woke up this morning. Went to the front door, the back door. She had simply vanished. Went to feed the dog. Opened the cabinet, under the sink in the laundry room, to get the dogfood, and guess who pops out? Yep. She's proceeded to gorge herself on yesterday's dinner and immediately threw up. I missed her.

Monday, April 19, 2010

can we flip flop?

Dear smart ass,

Can we flip flop?

How about I'll be the teenager now and you can be the parent?
...just wondering.

{ this picture has nothing to do with the parent/teenager thing }

{ totally unrelated photo, but my personal best so far}

Friday, April 16, 2010

this is the way it is

this is the way it is...

what's after 29?

dogs are like children

what's after 29?

cats are like teenagers. yep.
or is it the other way around?

have a good one,

Monday, April 12, 2010

It's Here, It's There, It's Everywhere


{ the buds are beautiful. the flowers, glorious. }

...but that's not what I'm talking about...


{ it covers the car }


{ it covers my porch }


{ it covers the door handle }


{ heck, it even covers the dog - who has allergies - and licks herself }

pollen, that's what I'm talking about.

{ cough }

{ snort }

{ wheeze }

{ sneeze }

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sunday's Laugh


A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're thirty-two. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're twenty-six. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're twenty-four . "

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?"

The woman answered, " Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin."

Saturday, April 10, 2010

on a more serious note

I have to show you this. My daughter, yes Smart Ass herself, has suffered from this terrible autoimmune disease since she was 12. Twelve. One moment she was playing soccer, riding horses, happily going to school, and the next she was sick with mono. I remember the day she got sick. This "mono" tested negative and after three months of being bedridden, she was diagnosed. After 6 months of physical therapy she was able to leave the house and ride in the car without crying from the pain and discomfort. Her strength gives me strength.

Thank God, in her case, after 5 years, pulling out of regular school, and through the use of medication, she's able to live a relatively "typical" teenager's life. Thank God.

Please watch this and remember it when you hear of someone with ME/CFS, a.k.a. Chronic Fatigue.

ME Promo from Double D Productions on Vimeo.

Just wanted you to know.

Friday, April 9, 2010


oh get your mind out of the gutter. i'm lusting, for this..


never cared for it before. i have a hard enough time seeing those tiny letters and even smaller buttons. but when i heard that you could turn your lights off remotely...

i was hooked, baby!
plus it's more classy than the clapper.

next week it'll be the ipad - after i get over the sanitary thing.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Learning After 40 Isn't Like Riding a Bike

photography after 40 - whats after 29?
{ personal best to date }

After borrowing Smart Asses' camera for two years, I've decided to treat myself to one of my own. I wanted something as advanced as possible while still able to fit into my purse or even my back pocket (I have big back pockets).

First off, I'd like to point out that whoever said, "oh don't worry. it's like riding a bike." was seriously delusional. I mean really, who out there hasn't gotten on a bike for the first time in 10-15+ years and plowed into the first tree or sign in sight? It's like a freaking magnet! This is the analogy I've given to my little photography escapade.

In high school I was a pretty good photographer - sporting my super advanced Pentax K1000 (which I still have, btw, somewhere). This chick totally understood aperture, shutter speed, iso, etc. Heck, I even developed my own pictures! Now I just want to turn the dial to "auto" - something the salesguy told me NOT to do - and leave it. Think I need to head to the nearest Barnes & Noble for "Photography for Dummies".

My question to all of the photographic geniuses out there - how long did it take before you hopped back on that bike and made it to your destination without hitting a tree or a fence? Or is the key to NOT abandon the "bike" in the first place - in which case, I'm a lost cause?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I Know I Keep Complaining, But...

whats after 29?

I know I keep complaining, but...

In the southern words of my dear mama, I'm feeling like a one-armed paper hanger these days. My shop has, like, four items in it - a little sad. Every time I sell something, instead of being happy, I panic. "Hubs, you can't sell things you don't have!" = my favorite phrase lately. Yeah, my thinking is screwed and skewed.

Art takes time, people.

Just venting. Does this make sense? No. Is it mindless blabbering? Probably. Do I need to stop venting and work? I guess so. Would I rather eat a chocolate Easter egg-shaped whopper? Absolutely.

Okay, I'm better. It's amazing what chocolate will do for the soul.

Monday, April 5, 2010

what we did

{ Sophie }

For Easter, we visited friends with dogs - little dogs, big dogs, medium-sized dogs. We brought our dog (cat refused - I know not why).

{ Pepper }

{ Gracie }

Yes, three black labs. We contemplated removing their collars and shuffling them, thereby creating a fabulous new game. Alas, they weren't interested in being shuffled. They were only interested in tennis balls and swimming.

{ Rascal - Fun Police Extraordinaire }


We roasted marshmallows and ate s'mores. Dennis lost his fishing rod to a feisty catfish while eating s'mores. Ever heard of the one that got away? The catfish won. It was our greatest loss of the long weekend.


We walked to the family farmhouse.

We woke on Sunday morning to attend a sunrise service.

We ate.

The dogs ate.

All was well.

pardon my absence


Pardon my absence. Been on a little vacation with the family.
Enjoying the glorious weather. Hope you are too.
See you soon. :)


Thursday, April 1, 2010

carbon monoxide? robber? choking?


Two nights ago the hubs was away on one of his trips and, as usual, the only part I dread is the nighttime hours. (rest of the time's like a mini-vaca, right?) So, things are going pretty well until the middle of the night when I hear this hysterical meowing right outside of my bedroom door - meowing and scratching and bumping.

Said cat, Oreo, actually wakes me with her meowing. She will NOT go away. My first thought is, of course, that I'm going to kill that cat. Then I roll over to see it's 2:15. The first thought is followed by subsequent thoughts of possible carbon monoxide poisoning, robbers, possible choking and/or dead dog companion. As time goes on the thoughts become worse, as they usually do at 2:15 a.m. Finally, knowing that I"ll never go back to sleep (especially if I die of carbon monoxide poisoning), I get out of bed. As soon as I open the door I see two very excited animals. They begin to run! Well, at least the dog hasn't died (my next thought). I run after them - all the way to - their dinner bowls.

After I finish torturing the cat by putting her in the basement and yelling at the dog (who endures psychological punishment quite well), I close my little door, hop back into bed and...

can't go back to sleep. (sounding familiar at this point?)

I switch on the laptop (I know, I know, not good for inducing sleep) and publish a post I'd written the night before. Within minutes, I received comments. What the????

Was it carbon monoxide poisoning? Was it a robber? Had the dog had killed over? Was my clock wrong and it was really morning and we were living in Alaska where sometimes it's dark during the daytime hours and everyone was already awake and I'd actually overslept and...?

No, it was a full moon. Thank goodness it only happens once a month.

What was your experience?

believe it or not...

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