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Friday, January 29, 2010

I Surrender


Am I the only one who is fed up with dishing out $140 to be beautiful? And it doesn't really work! They tell me I'll be beautiful, but it doesn't work! I know, I know your hair is important and it is a first impression. Blah, blah, blah.

I. Am. Cheap.

Go without? Nah, I have 40-something dingy dirty blonde hair. Doing nothing would be a crime.

My brilliant solution:

In November, I decided to ask my stylist for a recommendation for home hair coloring. Yeah - I know - stupid. So she talks me into just getting a less expensive, all over color for the winter. (It wasn't less expensive. ) BSer said it made me look old.

Fast forward. My roots are showing about 1.5 inches. The time to act is now. I get the highlighter kit, read all the instructions, watch videos on youtube, get my rattail comb, cut the pieces of foil...


...just sayin'

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I Don't Care What They Say About Feminine

...hygiene products.


I don't care if I can't stick it in my back pocket. (that would be some back pocket!)

Just don't care...

The ipad is SO on my wish list.

I'm willing to wait - wait and save - and save and wait - however long it takes.

Gadget nerd signing off now.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Today We Salute YOU!

Today, on your 17th birthday,
A day we thought would never come...

Alas, a day we thought we'd never survive to see...


I was certain, after carrying you for nine months, that life wouldn't be boring. My first pregnancy was so easy and quiet, but not you! You kicked and screamed whilst still in the womb! Oh yes, we always knew that it would be you, and not the sweet Hermit, who would be the nail in our coffin, the signer of the old person's home commitment form.

We salute you...


the only baby who could work a onesie. You,
oh giver of endless grief and drainer of all things cash-related,

holder of the title of loudest screaming banshee,


lover of apple jammies and

current resident of the nastiest bedroom.


You, oh chewer of books and...
the one who boldly wears the title, Smart Ass.

Happy 17th

We love you. :)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Thanks for...

...two things.

First, I'm thankful for those designers who create long sweaters and other beautiful things that so effectively cover the butts of people who eat too much biscotti.

YAY to you, designers of things that hide my butt!





AND SECOND, thanks for...

A big thanks to Debi from Do Rah! Designs for the Kreativ Blogger award.

Now I'm off to have another biscotti and cup of coffee.
Care to join me?

*Clothing photos are from

Fat Pants, Pizza, and Beer


It's raining today and I'm thoroughly happy about it.

I've braved Wally World to get pizza supplies. We've got a fire in the fireplace, beer (Blue Moon WITH the orange slices), and football starting in - ooh - ten minutes. My body is practically begging for my stretchy fat pants, thick socks and large, sexy Life is Good tee shirt. Beginning to feel a nap coming on...

Is it raining where you are? If so, embrace it. Sundays are good for that. :)

Friday, January 22, 2010

Clara & the French Onion Soup

First, last night's french onion soup was a hit! As Smart Ass says, "I know, right?" I practically begged for criticism, but there was none to be had. The dog didn't even get a sip. Well, actually, she did - but just one! Yes, my dog had french onion soup.

Seriously, you NEED to make this. You'll be a rock star.

On to Clara...

Have you met Clara? She reminds me of my own Grandmother Bailey and, well, I think I'm in love. This is a bit on the longish side, but oh so sweet.

Just goes to show you that you don't have to be young or sexy to be a YouTube sensation.

You can find Clara on YouTube here, her blog is here and her book, yes book, is here.

Oh, and have a great day :)

Thursday, January 21, 2010


New word. A little lame? Not?

Yeah, I know I've been going on and on about eating healthy. Unfortunately, it's been a chilly, rainy day in Georgia and I'm feeling a little oniony - another new word and no, it's not because I've just finished a vicious trip on the stationary bike.

Anywho... The dysfunctional family will be having homemade french onion soup and salad tonight. As you can see from my sidebar, tonight was supposed to be broccoli soup, but I've maxxed out the natives with that culinary delight. As you can see from my OTHER sidebar, I heart This is a Tyler Florence recipe. Gonna try it and let you know tomorrow the ridiculous amount of abuse I'm about to endure.

All I can say is that they'd better like it because the gruyere was $6.99!

Here's the link. For the lazy ones out there (and you know who you are), the recipe is copied below.

French Onion Soup

Recipe courtesy Tyler Florence

Prep Time:
15 min
Inactive Prep Time:
Cook Time:
55 min
4 to 6 servings


  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • 4 onions, sliced
  • 2 garlic cloves, chopped
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 2 fresh thyme sprigs
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 cup red wine, about 1/2 bottle
  • 3 heaping tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 2 quarts beef broth
  • 1 baguette, sliced
  • 1/2 pound grated Gruyere


Melt the stick of butter in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onions, garlic, bay leaves, thyme, and salt and pepper and cook until the onions are very soft and caramelized, about 25 minutes. Add the wine, bring to a boil, reduce the heat and simmer until the wine has evaporated and the onions are dry, about 5 minutes. Discard the bay leaves and thyme sprigs. Dust the onions with the flour and give them a stir. Turn the heat down to medium low so the flour doesn't burn, and cook for 10 minutes to cook out the raw flour taste. Now add the beef broth, bring the soup back to a simmer, and cook for 10 minutes. Season, to taste, with salt and pepper.

When you're ready to eat, preheat the broiler. Arrange the baguette slices on a baking sheet in a single layer. Sprinkle the slices with the Gruyere and broil until bubbly and golden brown, 3 to 5 minutes.

Ladle the soup in bowls and float several of the Gruyere croutons on top.

Alternative method: Ladle the soup into bowls, top each with 2 slices of bread and top with cheese. Put the bowls into the oven to toast the bread and melt the cheese.

Today - A Positive, Upbeat View

rain Pictures, Images and Photos

Today's plan is to finish catching up after being gone for five days.

It's raining, so of course I will be going to the grocery store. I'm still trying to finish a "healthy" menu for the rest of the week. Suggestions??? (Be kind. Insults literally crush me.)

Isn't it a joyful moment when you're running, full-on with a buggy full of food in the pouring rain? Can someone tell me how to keep the buggy from rolling away while simultaneously opening the trunk and holding an umbrella? My umbrella always falls sideways. And by the way, why don't I learn to check the weather report and NOT procrastinate and just go to the friggin' grocery store the day before we're due for 2-3 inches of rain?

Getting back to the healthy meal topic...

Oh how I wish I could serve up delicious, healthy meals. We've got the BSer, the pickiest adult on the face of the planet. Then there's Smart Ass who can't eat gluten - gee thanks for that. The only one I have who will eat and not complain, well for the most part, is the Hermit and now he's gone. GONE I tell ya.

So, here I am, trying like the dickins to create a health conscious meal. We are bombarded with "don't eat this, eat that, blah, blah, blah". Cardboard may do the trick. Wait - I'll bet it has gluten.

How many days does it take you to recover after being away?

And doesn't going to the grocery store in the rain suck?

Have a great day!! Stay inside. Read a book. Don't go to the grocery store.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

She Didn't Kill Me


Dear Smart Ass,

Thank you for not killing me via some terrible merging incident yesterday as we took turns driving seven hours from Virginia to Georgia. For that I am forever grateful - at least until the next road trip. Thank you also for ditching me for your friends (who would have thought?) and visiting only when you needed money. I'm happy to report that it only took two glasses of wine to calm my nerves upon returning home.

Love, Mom

Why did we go to Virginia? To house sit and pet sit this fabulously loveable mutt named Maggie. Isn't she adorable? (Read here to find out why I can't count on her watchdog skills.)


I've developed a deep love of living on the cheap in someone else's house while they're on vacation. Have you tried it? You really should - it's the bomb. (Do people still say that?)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Even With the Critique, They Couldn't Deny...


...that it was absolutely delicious! BSer loved it, gave it a thumbs up for future staple meals, but said it did something funky to his teeth. His report, however, should be taken with a grain of salt because he's weird anyway. (I think it was the heated peanut butter and he reported that it made his teeth feel sharp and spikey. YEAH - and he's supposedly the elder in the family. Want my life? I'd gladly sell it to you for the right price.)

Smart Ass loved it, but then after dinner told me she wasn't big on peanut butter. O.k.a.y. it was a peanut butter (satay) dish. Comments aside, I'm chalking this one up as a success, because it was gooooooood. If, for some reason, you have issues with heated peanut butter making your teeth feel sharp and spikey, it might not be for you. Otherwise, go for it.

*This recipe was changed somewhat, thanks to Smart Ass, and made gluten-free from this recipe on

Chicken Satay Stir-Fry with Orange Scented Jasmine Rice

3 3/4 c. water
2 oranges, zested
2 cups jasmine rice, rinsed

Stir Fry:
2 tbs. canola oil
1 pkg. (about 1.3 lb.) chicken breast tenders, sliced into bite-sized pieces
3 cloves minced garlic
1 onion, sliced
1 green pepper, sliced
1 bunch fresh broccoli
about 4-5 baby portabello mushrooms, rough chopped

*The original recipe uses onion, peppers, carrots, garlic, snow peas, & scallions.

4 rounded tbs. peanut butter
3 tbs. GF soy sauce
3 tbs. honey
1" of ginger root, shredded
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 orange, juiced

*As the sauce warms, it thickens. You will probably want to add a little water to thin.

chopped peanuts

Heat water with orange zest to boiling. Add rice, return to boil, stir. Cover pot and reduce heat to simmer. Cook rice until tender, about 18 minutes. Fluff with fork.

For stir-fry, heat a large skillet to high heat. Add oil, chicken, garlic, and onion. Stir fry for 3 minutes. Add remaining veggies and stir-fry 5 minutes more.

Heat the ingredients for the sauce under low heat in a small saucepan, whisking to combine.

When ready to serve, I added the sauce directly to the stir-fry pan.


Monday, January 11, 2010

Tell Me Something I Don't Know


I have developed a habit of keeping my fortunes.
Sometimes it's as if that little oriental lady in the back room who we all know is feverishly creating fortune cookies, is sending me a deep, meaningful message.

Last week when I went to PF Changs, I think that little lady had taken a bathroom break
or was sick or maybe on vacation. Heaven knows she probably needs one.

That's why I wasn't too terribly offended when I got this message in my fortune cookie.

At least this serves as solid confirmation that I've been made in the USA, which is a relief because I was really losing sleep over that one.

Just Sayin...

Life as I know it has been threatened if I get specific (whatever that means).

See if you can figure this topic out on your own.

Enjoy the clip anyway. :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

How Do I Drive Thee Crazy?


How Do I Drive Thee Crazy? Let Me Count the Ways…

1. We became friends on Facebook.

2. As soon as I joined Facebook, it wasn't long before your friends came a-calling. "Oh Mrs. P, we love you!"

It was only a matter of time, my dear. Heh Heh Heh

3. I can read your facial expressions. In other words, when you're supposedly studying on the computer, I know you're chatting with a friend.

4. I know when you're texting under the dinner table. Sheesh - just how dimwitted do you think I am?

Don't answer that!

5. A mother/child relationship is like Survivor or Big Brother - everything is a game.

You never know who has the upper hand.

But remember…

6. I control your future, your college education, your cell phone, and more importantly, your clothing allowance.

All in a days work. All in a days work.

Love you, Sweetie! Mean it.

Friday, January 8, 2010

He Finally Cracked


What was I thinking???

In my relentless effort to become more healthy, I've become the food police. Yep.

The last straw was when I accused him of adding too much salad dressing to his salad. (Seriously, he adds - like - a quarter cup!) was the last straw.

He exploded with, "I'm done! I'm outta here!"

I replied, "You're leaving me because I'm the food police?"

"Yes! It's all down hill from here. First, it's the salad dressing. Next, you'll call the office and I'll tell you that I have to work late. You will respond by asking if those are crackers you hear in the background."

And that's how the BSer cracked.

The end.


Today, after I've had my fifth cup of coffee, I'm heading down to the basement to clean and fumigate The Hermit's room and bathroom. (Yes, I am procrastinating. Wouldn't you?)

There's no telling what I may find down there. The smell alone could knock you out.

I told him to clean it up before he moved out. Guess what?

So anyway, if I don't come up for air by 6:00 p.m. send the rescue squad.

Story at 7...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

It's Your Birthday, It's Your Birthday...


Today I tack on another year. Funny how we don't get as excited as we used to. Wonder why???

Spent the night with my mommy two days ago and had my favorite childhood birthday meal. That was enough to get me through another year. You absolutely won't believe what it is - go ahead and try to guess. I GUARANTEE you won't. It's too...well...special.

When I and my three siblings were growing up we asked for one thing on our birthdays - food-wise. Was it steak? No. Was it pizza? No. Get ready....

Here goes...

Pinto beans with raw onions on top...

REALLY stewed potatoes, mashed up with the potato gravy* poured over the top...

Sauerkraut and...

Wieners, cooked together.

There. I've just shared a deep, dark family secret with my - hold on - 22 followers and only God knows who else (probably nobody).

Go ahead and laugh. It's comfort food, food for the soul, soul food...maybe. Either way, we still love our annual culinary treat.

What's your favorite birthday meal? Bet you can't top mine!

*For those of you who were puzzled by "potato gravy", it's simply the starchy liquid that the potatoes are cooked in. I call it potato gravy. Sue me.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Can You Have Too Much Of A Good Thing?

I think the answer is yes.

The BSer and I have been experiencing "empty-nester-marital-bliss" for the past five days because the Hermit moved out and took Smart Ass with him. Unfortunately, the commonwealth of Virginia didn't want our dear, sweet S.A. So, I have to go get her tomorrow. Seriously.

Having said that, I think that the BSer and I mutually agree that four days is our current limit for experiencing "empty-nester-marital-bliss". The harsh truth is that we're not quite ready to be empty nesters yet. Don't get me wrong, the BSer and I love one another dearly. However, I think that we need another solid year of abuse from one of our offspring before we're finally ready to downsize and move to some unknown location, never to be heard from again.

So, yes, you CAN have too much of a good thing.

Bring on the abuse.

believe it or not...

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