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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Alone at Last...


Except for Henry and Eddie, my new hot dates.

Eddie (on the right) is young and lively. He always has a twinkle in his eye and is ready for just about anything you'd like to throw in his direction. Eddie leaps with joy.

Henry, in contrast, is older, dark, handsome, the silent type. You can tell with just one look that this boy has been around the block a few times. He tends to snore a little, his fur is soft, warm, a little stinky.

I'm house-sitting this week. Henry and Eddie are my sweet, constant companions.

Aren't they handsome?

Gas for the trip: about $80
Groceries: maybe $25
House sitting - ALONE - no responsibilities (except for Henry & Eddie)... PRICELESS!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Birthdays and Getting Old

{ He's in the middle, in case you're wondering }

My son, the Hermit, is the birthday boy today. I say this tongue-in-cheek because the boy is twenty. Dang I'm getting old. But it's not about me...

On their birthday, the kids get whatever meal they choose and for some strange reason, it's never my cooking. Afterward, no matter what, no matter where we happen to be, they are obligated to sit through mom's gory rendition of, "on the day you were born".

But it's not about me...

Today I'll have camera on hand to appropriately harass the kiddos as we head out for lunch at P.F. Changs and then shopping. This scares me. Why do they always want to go shopping on their birthdays? It's enough to send shivers up and down my spine.

But it's not about me...

It's about baby, who is very quickly becoming a man.

Happy Birthday, Wes! Love you...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sunday's Critique

{ Your basic, everyday salt lick }

So, everyone asked for chinese tonight. Let me preface this by stating that I am one heck of a stir-fryer. This is because Smart Ass has effectively put an end to our chinese take-outs after going gluten-free. As a result, I've gotten lots of practice. The family lovingly refers to me as Wasabi Lori or sometimes Lori-son.

Unfortunately, I was working the lazy-Sunday thing, so the fried rice was nothing but - fried - rice. And instead of sauteing onions and garlic and all of the goodies I would normally use, I pulled out a bag of frozen veggie stir-fry.

My bad.

I have no idea what the heck happened, but the chicken and vegetables were so salty you could barely eat them. Except, of course, for Smart Ass who also has hypotension and craves salt so much that she has her own shaker. Amazingly, she continued to liberally salt her dinner. (We've considered adding a salt lick to her end of the table and that, my friend, is another story for another day.)

The Hermit asked why I cooked chinese when he had expressly stated that he wanted burgers and he had specifically said the chinese should come at the END of the week - not the beginning. Did I not hear when he requested burgers?

BS-er (a loving hubby who is oddly the pickiest kid in the bunch) asked why the fried rice was basically rice, where the egg rolls were tonight, why I didn't add onions, and was this fresh broccoli or frozen because he could tell the difference (I said they were freshly frozen).

Wasabi Lori clearly did not hit a home run tonight.

Dinner - 2 (scale of 1 - 10, ten being the best)
Level of critiquing - 10

Success Boil-in-a-bag rice: $2
Chicken: $3
Bag of mixed stir-fry vegetables: $1.88

Watching the dog try to scarf inedible salty chinese chicken - Priceless. :)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Parenting Opinions - Bring It On


I'm looking for opinions this morning.

The Hermit was a fairly low key, easy teen. I don't remember having this dilemma with him.

Smart Ass, who's been sick for the better part of 4 years, is feeling mighty fine these days and suddenly has a life. Tuesday night she went shopping with a friend. Wednesday night, youth group with another friend. Thursday night, the Atlanta Symphony with yet another friend and finally we come to Friday night. Guess what? She went to a bonfire. Our dilemma? Curfew - the dreaded "C" word.

You may be asking, why is this such a problem?

BS-er and I don't last past 9:30 or 10:00 on a good night. It's admittedly embarrassing for Smart Ass when we make her come home by 9:30 on a Friday night.

Maybe it's the boy/girl thing. Sadly what rings true for boys doesn't for girls. We knew that the Hermit would be home when we told him to be home so we went to bed, knowing he would be fine.

No matter what we like to think, it's different with girls. BS-er and I, with our after ten p.m. crankiness, pace the floor and, OH YEAH, heaven help any boy who happens to walk into the house with her.

BS-er told the last one that he didn't trust him any farther than he could be thrown.

Sheesh - poor Smart Ass. I almost felt kinda sorry for her - almost.

What's a parent to do? What do you do? What DID you do or what are you PLANNING to do?
Do you wait up - growing tired and cranky? Do you set an earlier time? What? What? What?

This just endorses my theory that I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN is true. Healthy adults who just fall over and die for no apparent reason are, in reality, killed indirectly by their teenagers.

So... Opinions?

Friday, November 13, 2009

Being Nice...


I was looking at my Operation Nice sticker and thinking to myself, "What did I do yesterday that was nice?" My answer?

I allowed Smart Ass to stay out late to see the Atlanta Symphony. (what attraction that held for a 16 year-old I will never know - maybe some hottie violinist?)

I cleaned our bathroom AND the windows - well SOME windows.

I cooked dinner and went to the cleaners, grocery store and pharmacy.

I gave psycho cat a treat even though she attacked me EVERY time I walked by.

HEY!!! I'm nice every day - not.

Hope your Friday is filled with happy events.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Need a Vacation? Come Along...

...for a dreamy weekend away from everyone and everything.

As much as I love them all, the BS-er, Hermit and Smart Ass will have other plans.

We'll be going to a lodge in the mountains. The road will be clear so driving into town to shop will be no problem and, most importantly, we can order a fabulous meal and have it delivered to the lodge.

On this trip (because we are dreaming here) we will need a knock-out fantasy outfit. I'm hosting this particular dream, so if you don't like the outfit, host a dream of your own. :)

I REALLY want to do the boyfriend look.
So for the sake of dreamland, I'll work it.

Gonna work these shoes too.
Think I could actually handle the heels.
How about you?

The bag. Drool...

After dinner (or maybe even before!) we'll change into our comfy jammies.
This robe would do the trick for me.
(sweats underneath of course)

This pillow would be nice to cuddle with
since George Clooney can't make it up the mountain.

If we're feeling especially nice, we may call home.
...or not.

All of these lovely items are from my dreamland favorite store, Anthropologie.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Serious Comfort

Okay, so yesterday it was rainy and soggy in Atlanta - again. Being the fabulous culinary master that I am, I decided to make a pot of soup, my favorite one-dish-wonder comfort food.

A little history first. Smart Ass, being the difficult child that she is, has something called celiac disease. Oh NOOO, we couldn't be a normal family. That would make things too easy and boring. Anyway, she can't eat gluten so this recipe is gluten-free. Don't freak, just change the flour to regular all-purpose and the broth to regular chicken or vegetable broth.

I must say, it was delicious and warm and terribly satisfying.

However, I have to add that...

The BS-er just can't seem to make it through a meal without offering up some sort of critique which encourages the Hermit and Smart Ass to offer their collective opinions. The first time I made this soup, I pureed the entire recipe.

BS-er said that he thought it was too creamy. The Hermit and Smart Ass concurred.

This time, in my never-ending attempt to make everyone happy, I only pureed about 2/3 of the soup and left the rest chunky. Want to know what BS-er said last night?

He wasn't too crazy about chunky broccoli. The Hermit and Smart Ass ducked their heads in shame and fear.

Anyway, here's the recipe and I'm sorry. My ingredients are always approximates. What can I say? I'm an eye-baller.

Gluten-Free Broccoli & Potato Soup

You will need:

2-3 tbs. butter

1-2 tbs. olive oil

1 onion, diced

3 potatoes, diced

(Add a few diced carrots if you'd like)

chopped broccoli (fresh or frozen)

salt & pepper to taste

3 tbs. gf all-purpose flour (we use bob's red mill)

4 cups of gf chicken or vegetable broth

1/2 cup cream (either light cream or half & half)


Combine butter & olive oil in stock pot over medium heat.

Add about 2/3 of the broccoli (keep the rest to add after pureeing if you like a few chunks), and all of the onion, carrot, potatoes, salt and pepper. Saute for, hmm... about 10 minutes. Add the flour and cook for 1 minute, until the flour reaches a blonde color. Add stock and bring to boil.

Simmer uncovered until the vegetables are tender, about 10-15 minutes. Pour in cream. With a blender, puree about half of the soup. Add salt and pepper, to taste and ENJOY!

Of course, you may want to add a little shredded cheddar to top it off. :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Hello Friend...


{The Hermit, Smart Ass, and some dirty kid in their younger days}
{The Hermit is in the middle, Smart Ass on the right}

Ever hopeful that someone out there will relate to my life, I turn to you, my dear and unknown, but ever so loving friends on the web.

Here’s the skinny. I’m mom to two difficult teenagers (let’s call them The Hermit and Smart Ass). I am wife to the BSer and for the purpose of marital bliss, we'll claim that it stands for big spender. My wonderful BSer has got to be the most needy 50 year-old on the face of the planet.

With this new blog, my goal is to discuss important, cutting-edge topics such as:

• What the hell was my hairdresser talking about when she said this new color would make me look younger and more perky?

• The kids are getting older and Big Spender says I’m working myself out of a job.

• Loving daughter (aka Smart Ass), mean girls, boyfriends, and just basic smart ass stuff. Loving son (aka The Hermit) - too much crap to list in this brief introduction.

• Clothing – and I’m not talking about jeans that are so tight I KNOW that I’ll get some kind of wonky infection, skin-tight tops, five inch heels, thongs, and push-up bras.

• Cooking – Gourmet wanna-be here tries like heck to prepare noteworthy meals like her female counterparts. BSer and Smart Ass are in competition to see who can be more picky. And why, WHY does every meal have to be deeply critiqued?

• Elderly parents – oh yeah, we have indeed become our parents.

• Decorating – the fact that I love to look at it, I love to dream about it, but I just don’t have the freaking energy to do it.

If you’re over 40 - or even if you're not, click on that little button to your immediate right so that it won't look so lonely. I mean, really, check it out. I'm the only one following me.

believe it or not...

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